Relax. I'm not one of these stupid gun grabbing politicians that are on the verge of bringing about the next secession. I want the good guys, which most of you reading this are, to have their full rights under the second amendment.

Rather, I am talking about you bleeding hearts who want to get your guns off the street, who hate guns, who think there is no purpose for guns in your world or your city. Don't just throw them away or give them to police. I NEED those guns.

Why do I need those guns? Well, I am 30 miles from a civil war. The civil war between the Mexican People and the Mexican drug cartels. I am very concerned that this violence is going to spill over to THIS side of the border. Fact is, it already has. Now, the drug cartels outgun everybody. Even the military. So down here, we need guns, and we need as many guns as you can send to balance this out. To give you folks a clue, last year, on the border towns of Mexico, there were 8,000 drug war murders. That's EIGHT THOUSAND. That's considerably more than any nutjob in Binghamton or Oakland just pulled off.

I just saw the Diane Sawyer cry fest on ABC's 20/20 about how easy it was to get guns in Virginia. It struck me that a lot of you people just don't want the guns you have. And to quote Bill Clinton, "I feel your pain". Rest assured that by giving your guns to me, you will be giving them to a good cause: defense of the United States of America against foreign enemies. You won't have them on your streets. You won't have your kids handling them. They will be safe in the hands of an American patriot, and will be channeled to other patriots who need these guns.

Now to be fair, to be perfectly legal, you have to, if you are outside Arizona, give the guns to an FFL dealer, who will transfer it to me via another FFL dealer in Arizona. If you are inside Arizona, you can give your guns directly to me. Although if you are in Arizona, I cannot fathom WHY you would want to do that. The Mexican drug war is coming your way. You're going to need those guns. But, if you're insane enough not to want protection from the drug lords, I'll happily take your guns, and you can hand them directly to me.

Fact is, I'd actually like to get a movement started. Whereby you people who are such gun haters, can give all your guns to a good cause, the border communities in Arizona and Texas. To good people. Decent people. Honest people. Who live on these borders, and NEED those guns.

Oh, and let's not forget your ammo. I'll accept the donation of your ammo as well. You don't need any "stinkin' badges" to facilitate THAT. You can legally send it all to me.

Maybe we can form a charity to help facilitate the transfer of guns from bleeding heart gun haters to fine upstanding patriotic citizens in hot spots. Heck, we could register it and give you a tax deduction.

You don't want guns in your neighborhood. Well, fine. To paraphrase Mother Theresa, "Give them to ME." And we believe in diversity. You can send not only your American guns, but your Russian guns, your Chinese guns, your Israeli guns. We love them all equally. They will have a GOOD home, where they will be loved and cared for.

I don't understand why you would ever want to give up your guns. But if you do, well, I guess I have to play the understanding friend. Fine. I'll take them. It's the least I can do.

Liz Michael
www.lizmichael.com